Friday, May 11, 2007

marriage is weird

Marriage is weird. Or at least it is for me. I will admit I am used to caring for others, making sure people are good to go. While my friends and my family love me and have provided care for me, it cracks me up that I now have this person who is constantly worried about me (I know my mom does this too – but she is my mom!). When asked about this Jim responded with “its my job”.

I have been on my own in a way for awhile. I was proud of being single, being self sufficient, taking care of myself. It was like a badge of honor. I am super happy with being in love, choosing to have someone in my life in a committed way, I like having someone care for me. But I am loosing something of self sufficiency….

I think this lesson started when I got sick two weeks before the wedding – real sick. Jim came to my rescue – pushing me to eat, making sure I had what I needed, helping me generally get around. I needed someone, and I probably wouldn’t have ask anyone to come, but pushed myself to do it all myself. I don’t need to be self suffient. I ask groups to be community minded, and yet in some ways I didn’t know what I was asking. I am starting to now.

No comments: